Good morning, everyone. And happy Christmas Eve! I hope you have a pleasant day, especially if you have to work like I do. I have many plans and goals for 2019. No resolutions, just goals. 2018 was an unpleasant year for me. I hope it was better for you. But needless to say, I am looking for it to go bye-bye next week. đ
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Yearly Archives: 2018
Thanksgiving Blessings…
Happy Thursday, USA…
Chicago Down (St. Valentine’s excerpt)
CHICAGO DOWN (an excerpt from the draft chapter – St. Valentine’s Day Massacre)
-St. Valentineâs Day, 1929, S.M.C. Cartage Company, 2122 N. Clark Street, Chicago â Bugs Moran headquarters
…The five gunmen climbed into a police car that they stole previously. Two of the gunmen were dressed in police uniforms; the other three in regular clothes. The gangsters raced to the garage and came to a screeching halt in front. They crashed through the entrance brandishing two Tommy Guns, two sawed-off shotguns, and a revolver.
Thatâs how the story was reported…
âPolice raid! Up against the wall. Up againstâŚâ
But who they encountered when they ran in was different from who the lookouts witnessed go into the building. Or were they? The gunmen did not have an answer, in fact, they did not even get to form a question as the target group in the garage was all over the place. Crawling on the ceiling, clinging on a wall. Almost in unison, the rambling dead turned to them and snarled…
The gunmen: Fred âKillerâ Burke, John Scalise, Albert Anselmi, Joseph Lolordo, and Rudy Valle stopped dead in their tracks for only seconds. There was no time to take in the nightmare-like scene.
âWhat the hell!â Killer Burke yelled out. âShoot!â The massacre was wild and gory as the four more experienced shooters opened fire. âAim for the head,â Killer yelled.
Killer Burke had seen this before.
Young Rudy backed away in disbelief to the far wall, cowering down. The whole scene was too much for the nineteen-year-old to take in. Each of the seven monsters received ten to fifteen bullets to the head and torso as the only outside witness, the dog, barked and howled, struggling against his tethers, trying to free himself.
Killer and the gang flew out of the building, not noticing they left Rudy still slumped against the wall.
âWhereâs that kid,â Killer said.
âWho cares?â Albert responded.
âI do, you jackoff. You want Capone to kill ya?â
Killer and John ran back into the building to find Rudy shaking in the corning, staring at the dead men.
âRudy. What the hell,â Killer grabbed him up, shook him and pushed him out the door.
âCâmon, kid,â John said as he ushered him into the squad car. They drove several blocks before ditching the car and splitting up for safety and anonymity.
Copyright 2018 Wanda Paryla
Chicago Down – excerpt
*Hey all, don’t forget to visit my Facebook author page. You’ll find more excerpts there. Also some show up, and then go away. Keep your eyes peeled. đ *
CHICAGO DOWN (an excerpt – Chapter, San Antonio)
âHave you ever been to San Antonio before, Sal?â Leandro asked.
âNope,â she said.
âI wonder if itâs scary,â Leandro said. âI heard that itâs got a lot of people thereâŚa population of two-hundred-thousand, Sal. WowâŚwee!â
âPoppaâs old Poker buddy, Wally, told me they put cool air in one of the new buildings they opened earlier this year,â Salbatora said.
âCool air?â Leandro thought a moment. âOhhâŚair conditioning is what Carlos called it. Air conditioning!â He smiled. âCarlos said it makes the skin feel good on a hot day. But one could get a chill. He said.â His mind wandered off for a moment, missing his uncle. âCarlos knew about everything.â
âHe did,â Sal agreed. âI heard that this buildingâs temperature can go down into the seventies,â Sal said.
âOh, hell. Like on New Yearâs?â
âYeah. Guess so.â
âI hope we can go see that place,â Leandro said. âIâve never felt air conditioning.â
Copyright 2018 Wanda Paryla
Burden Me, Okay
BURDEN ME, OKAY
I wallow with the burden
A choice I made one day
While the wicked party and play
Fine for me is this burden
The choice I chose to keep
And our fruits each we shall reap
Party and play with deaf ears
Gabriel will announce the sadness
While the wicked party and play
After the final act
They shall fall upon their swords
‘Cuz while the uncaring played, I bore the burden of a life decaying
Through sleepless nights
And fruitless days
I’m leader through the lighted path
I carried it all
So do not dare ask any questions of me
If there are some, look in the mirror for answers or, my God, hit your knees
I wallow with the burden
A choice I made one day
While the wicked party and play
Burden me, okay
Copyright 2018 Wanda Paryla
Where Fires Glow (a poem)
WHERE FIRES GLOW
I was swinging to and fro
Hair flying
Laughing out loud
Barbaric is my memory
Devil’s on the playground
Here to erase my afflictions
God turned his back on me a long time ago
Now I live where the fires glow
Back and forth my memory rages
I struggle to keep my eyes shut
I need to stay where the fires glow
Let me rest in peaceful flame
Bottomless and salty
Protection from truths
Is the pit of the damned
Where the fires glow
Some voices, they urge me
Face your slave masters
But the fires beg me
Cover your eyes for sanity
Devil holds me
Gently in his arms
God’s gone, sweet child
So stay here where the fires glow
The fires
Avengers of my ravaged goodness
I know that I’m safe nowhere
But where the fires glow
Copyright 2018 Wanda S. Paryla
Chicago Down: An Excerpt
*Greetings, All. Here is an excerpt from Chicago Down. It’s a draft, but I’d like to know what you think. Thanks!
Chicago Down
When Salbatora Guerrera left Al Caponeâs bedroom, she felt as if sheâd done some horrible deed. A deed so terrible that her own mother would disown her. Maybe she wouldnât though, if she knew the true circumstances behind Salâs actions.
Sal felt as if she murdered someone. Her friend; a legend. But that someone was truly already dead. Dead long before his physical death. And now, sheâd carry this with her into eternity. Forever, and ever. The confusion this day has wrought.
Sal walked passed the doctor and a body guard or two. She thought she saw the driver of the car that brought her to Florida from Chicago. A long drive, it was. Despite that, she barely remembered the miles as they went by. A train might have been much nicer. And gotten her here a heck of a lot faster. But itâs not what Al wanted. Despite his showy personality, he wanted her arrival to be incognito. For her to be safe from the media and busy bodies. It was his endgame. This whole thing. One that he chose before he lost his mind and his senses. Ironic, for a larger-than-life character such as Al Capone, wouldnât you say?
He wanted Sal to take care of business in the end. He trusted her and only her to do it. After all, she owed him, and she believed in payment of debts. Yet, he was her friend. And she, his. Despite the worldâs perception of Al Capone, he was honestly kind to her and never asked anything in return for all he had done for her over the years. Nothing at all. He never put the moves on her, or asked for any sort of sexual favors, or payment in some other shady way. When she had nothing, he had it all, and he offered some to her, Sal, a lost Texan looking for her family. Sal, who found it, and then lost it all over again for the good of humankind.
Al, he admired her. No doubt that her tenaciousness, crassness, bravery and the way she accepted both success and defeat with grace was just a few of the several reasons why he thought she was worth helping.
Sal wandered passed everyone, barely aware of them. She imagined the blood of her friend being upon her hands and she broke down out there on the veranda. All alone. It took only an instant though, for the brave and strong Salbatora to regain her warrior stature. Not as young as she used to be, and having so many responsibilities these days, she just pushed that grief aside. Now was not the time.
âSalbatora,â Mae Capone was behind her, holding a small box. Only middle aged, Mae was still as pretty as ever, even after all she had been through. âAl left this for you. He boxed up these things a long time ago. I donât really know whatâs in here. And I never tried to look.â
She approached Sal and gestured for her to take the box. Sal started to reach for the box, but hesitated.
âReally, Sal, take it.â
Sal took the box with unease. âI donât know why Al would leave me anything. Iâve taken way too much already.â
âHe left it for you because he knew that youâd come,â Mae took a deep breath and turned away from Sal, almost as if she was ashamed. âHe knew youâd come here and do what the rest of us couldnât. What his family, friends, or employees could not do.â She shook her head and turned around to face Sal.
âIâŚI donât knowâŚIâŚâ Sal just stuttered. She was at a loss for words and actions.
âHe knew youâd end it for him. Put a stop to it. Do what even his doctor wouldnât. What I wouldnâtâŚcouldnât. He never wanted to become like that.â Mae wrung her hands, choosing her words carefully. âOnce, he became lucid for a few seconds, Salbatora. It was only a few days ago. He opened his eyes wide, looked at me. Raised his head up off the pillow, andâŚspoke like he did when he wasâŚoh,â she smiled, âlike back when he was twenty-five or so. He said, âMae, get Sal. The time is coming. Like I said. Donât let me become one of them. Itâs in me. I was touched by the darkness. Donât let itâŚI canât.â Then he put his head back down on the pillow. Breathing hard, staring at the ceiling. I wondered what he was thinking. After about a minute, he closed his eyes.â
Salbatora stayed at a hotel, paid for by Al Capone, for the duration of her stay. Mae offered her a room at the house, but with so many years gone by, Sal felt odd about it. She didnât want to impose upon a grieving family. Sal left the next day. Driven all the way back to Chicago by the same chauffer that brought her to Florida.
Copyright 2018 Wanda Paryla
HOPE
There’s a saying, printed on canvass, that hangs in my office. It reads, “Hope is a joyful expectation of good.” I’ve been contemplating that for some time now. I look at it, longingly, needless to say, each time I go into my office.
We shouldn’t give up the hope of good things to come for us or those we care for. No matter what they are. Even something as small as that you hope the cupcakes your baking don’t burn. Or that your new sweater doesn’t stretch out of shape in the wash.
Then we have those big ones. The hopes of better jobs, raises in pay, the completion of a first-draft novel, retirement in a better place. Maybe there’s the hope that your number will come in at the Roulette table, or that your square wins big on your office Superbowl bet. Or even bigger, that your body will be healed of aches, pains, or disease. Or that your mind will be healed of some ailment that your heart bares heavily…or the lack of said hope.
I find that when one finally gives up on hope is when their losses to challenges stack up. The jar full of hopelessness-es becomes a teetering tower. Sometimes, unfortunately, our tower of losses comes crashing down. And where do we go from there?
Some people do not have to fight cancer, or homelessness, or starvation to run out of hopes. Everyone has their own battles and we should not down others because someone else “has it worse than you.” No one’s failures, regrets or letdowns belong to another, and therefore cannot be understood by any other. We can sympathize, empathize, berate, hold up or slap down…but we cannot fully understand.
If you feel there is no more hope, that you have lost the last bit – don’t believe it. Do not let your mind convince you. Keep looking. Look under the bed, in a high school photo, in a book, in an old shoe box…just look. Pet a dog, listen to birds sing…watch the snow fall. But look.
A long time ago, I heard a mother tell her child to “not hope for things she can never achieve.” I call bull shit! Why? I have many hopes…dreams…that I may never – will never – achieve. But I keep them. I keep them to remind me that it can be done, and if not by me, by someone else. Fuck off, naysayers. That’s what I say.
But, yes, it’s such a heart boost to achieve a hope…such as a goal, or a life’s dream…or as something as simple as saving enough money for new shoes. They can be all sorts of things from learning to throw a ball to making a winning touchdown on Superbowl day, to baking your first “from scratch” cake to meeting and cooking with Rachel Ray, from writing an A+ school essay to writing for Time or Rolling Stone; from overcoming a sprained ankle to beating a deadly disease, or from overcoming a fear of spiders…to stepping down from a building’s ledge after a suicidal thought.
Hope is all we have when we find ourselves deep in the great abyss of losses or even choices. When we’ve lost it all or screwed it up…or someone did that for us…and there’s no person around at 1:00 A.M. to console us, there’s hope (and maybe your cat). Hope is there, smiling upon us, trying to show us the barely-there light burning at the end of a long-ass tunnel of treachery. Hope is reflected in the eyes of your deceased grandmother’s last photo, in the hoot of an owl, or in the colors of a rainbow, in the memory of how a song makes you feel, or the in the moves of an adrift feather.
Thanks for reading, and may your hopes be fulfilled.
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