Someday Always Comes, chapter 1 – excerpt

Hi all, this book is already published on Amazon for a long time now. It was proof-read but never had a professional edit. I am re-editing this book because the one complaint that stood out to me was that it was long, but even that criticism was often followed up with other positive comments similar to: despite the length…the passages always moved forward.

I had three great friends who proofread the book for me, and now with Storm Dwellers going to the editor, I have time to work on these edits. I would love to re-release this story after a professional edit. I’ve learned a lot about writing, editing and publishing since I wrote and released this book. One thing I’ve learned is to never, ever release a self-published book without a professional edit. Save the money – take an extra job, work overtime, beg your family, but never release unedited.

I’ve written a lot of things that I love, but this is my soul. Someday Always Comes is written in the First Person for a reason. My heart is in this book. It will never make me famous, but if one can birth a book, this is my child. Every emotion I’ve ever felt in my life is in this book. Someone asked me about ten years ago if this is based on a true story. No, it’s not…not really. They asked me if the characters were real people from my teen years. Maybe…maybe not. Really, anything is just coincident. For sure.

Once it’s nearing time for a professional edit, I will choose wisely, and I hope to turn to the original cover artist for an updated cover.

Most of you have probably not read it, and I have not posted about it here for years. As I said, I am just starting edits and I am only on chapter one. Here is a bit of chapter one…still raw…and maybe you’ll find some mistakes. Regardless, enjoy.

SOMEDAY ALWAYS COMES, chapter 1 – excerpt

“What you lookin’ at, girl?” Dino said, snarling his lip.

“Nothing,” I said. “I’m not looking at you.”

“Shut up, Dino,” Kiki said. “She’s not bothering you. I’ll make her breakfast and she’ll go to her room. Just quit it.”

We were silent for a minute as I studied the floor, trying to avoid looking at Dino but his powerful, icy stare was like a magnet, compelling me to glance at him.

“Watchin’ me, are ya, girl? Huh?” He glared at me through the long bangs of his dirty, long hair.

“No, I’m not. Leave me alone,” I said.

“You want some of this?” Dino gestured toward the bloody, rare but scorched T-bone steak on his plate.

The sight of its bloody juices mixed up with the scrambled eggs made me queasy.

“No.”

Dino smirked as he cut a piece of steak. He gave a perverse grin with his greasy lips.

“Sure you don’t want some of my meat?”

He taunted me with the sickening thing before putting it in his mouth.

“What? No.”

He stared at me the whole time, chewing, sneering like a devil-possessed possum. Blood oozed from the steak as Dino cut another piece of the meat from the center of it and jabbed his fork into it.

“Here, you want this?” He said, as he slowly leaned toward me.

Kiki stopped cooking, turning her attention on us.

“Stop it,” she said.

“No,” I said. “I don’t want it!”

He held the meat up in front of my face. His breath smelled of raw flesh and coffee and my guts wrenched.

“Here,” he said, “eat it,” he ordered.

Nauseous from extreme hunger, my stomach churned at the sight and smell of the mangled, bloody meat. I turned my face away and held my breath, trying to hold down the vomit boiling in my gut.

“I don’t want it.”

Dino plucked the beef from his fork with his grimy fingers then threw the fork down on the table. It bounced off and landed on the floor.

“Dino, leave her alone!” Kiki demanded. “She’s not bothering you.”

In a split second, he grabbed me by my hair and tried to force the half-cooked meat into my mouth and a struggle ensued. Kiki grabbed Dino’s hand that held my hair trying to free me. I fought against him. I squeezed my lips tightly together and frantically shook my head back and forth so that he could not force the thing into my mouth.

“Let her go, Dino!” Kiki yelled as she tried to free me from his grasp.

“Eat it, you little bitch!” Dino yelled.

I’m unsure if the chair I sat in gave way, or if Dino forced it, but it fell backwards taking me with it. My head hit the floor. Free of Dino’s grasp and fighting back the pain in my head, I jumped up and ran, tripping over my own feet. I headed for my bedroom, Dino stumbling behind me.

“Come on, girl!” He yelled.

I locked my bedroom door with the renter’s lock Kiki installed on it the summer before then slid the chain across. All that steel to keep the devil out of my room. I shoved a rectangular, rubber doorstopper under the door then backed away from it, shaking. I frantically looked for some escape, but we lived on the second floor with no easy way out.

“Mary Tessa, open this damned door!” Dino yelled.

“Go away! You rotten bastard!” I screamed. “Leave me alone!”

I slid my small dresser in front of the door, then grabbed my favorite book off the headboard of my bed, then ducked into the closet and closed the door. I closed my eyes, held my breath, and willed myself – or maybe forced myself – to be quiet so that Dino didn’t have the pleasure of hearing me cry.

Oh, Scarlett, tell me what to do.

Dino banged against the bedroom door. I feared for my life. I didn’t want him to get in. I squeezed my eyes tightly and covered my ears.

“Oh, God,” I whispered in the dark. “Go back to hell, demon.”

I sat there in the dark closet, trying to meditate my way out of the situation. I took deep breaths: I went out onto my window ledge, and sat there until a kindly, brave fireman came and rescued me from the place. In my opinion, out of all the people who allegedly care about other people, the firefighter is the most selfless. I secretly wanted to run away and hide in a firehouse where they wouldn’t let Dino hurt me.

Dino banged and kicked at my bedroom door, his combat boot landing hard against the heavy oak door. Die. Have a massive heart attack you monster and go to hell. Please, God. Kill him. Kill him.

“Dino, stop it!” Kiki yelled. “Why are you doing this?”

I sat on the closet floor for what seemed like forever. I wanted to make sure he wasn’t hovering near my bedroom door, listening; waiting for me to make a peep. I held on to my favorite bible, Gone with the Wind. My mother loved the story and I imagined she talked to me through Scarlett, teaching me to be a strong woman. Teaching me to fight for what’s worth holding on to and let go of the rest.

I desperately needed to get rid of the rich, revolting taste of the meat’s blood from around my mouth. I used my sleeve to try to wipe my face clean. Eventually, the kicking and cursing ceased, and I crept out of the closet. Crying quietly, I sat on my bed contemplating. Plotting what my life might be like if someday I got free of Dino and Kiki.

I looked forward to breakfast that day – a rarity in our household. I hadn’t eaten much for the prior few days. I only wanted a few bites of scrambled egg. Again though, I didn’t get anything to eat. I went back to my closet and rummaged around, pulling out a box of Pop Tarts and a can of Pepsi. The sugary treats were better than not eating anything at all.

My best friend, Brianna, gave me food and I’d hide it from Dino so that I could eat something when he didn’t let me stay at the kitchen table. I ate the three Pop Tarts that were in the box and drank the can of Pepsi, quite thankful that I had them.

I stayed low key, hiding in my bedroom for the rest of the morning to avoid them both. Playing Def Leppard low on my stereo and smoking cigarettes I stole from Kiki, I bided my time. Habitually by midmorning they usually engaged in drinking and smoking dope and hopefully I could sneak out.

On and off that morning, I heard arguments going on in the living room or pots and pans banging around in the kitchen. Eventually the yelling and noises stopped. Occasionally, I could hear the sounds of the phone or doorbell. With every ring or buzz, I prayed it was a way out of the apartment for me.

After a couple of hours, my inflating bladder compelled me to leave my cave. I needed to use the toilet, and Dino-be-damned if I’d piss in a pile of dirty clothes like I did the last time this shit happened. I slid the dresser away from the door and slinked into the bathroom on my tiptoes. I could hear the television playing loudly in the living room. I relieved myself, washed my face and hands, brushed my teeth then went back to my bedroom where I hid again peacefully for quite some time, lying on my bed, listening to the radio and staring at the ceiling. However, every good thing ends.

A huge argument developed between Dino and Kiki in the living room. I turned down the stereo so I could eavesdrop. I heard cursing, things being thrown about, and eventually Kiki in the kitchen banging cabinet doors and jabbering aloud, wishing Dino dead. Her mutterings and slurred speech told me she was drunk or high. Things got calm again and I turned my radio back up. I shut my eyes and listened to my stomach rumble.

“What the hell, Mary Tessa!” Kiki shocked me alert and I jumped off the bed. She yelled over what she pretended to be horribly loud music coming from my room as she pounded her hand repeatedly against my bedroom door. “Turn down that heavy metal trash! Don’t you have something to do on Halloween? I can’t stand you hangin’ around here all the damn time. For Christ’s sake, go out and do something!”

I’d been waiting for a window of opportunity all morning. I could leave.

“It’s only noon, Kiki!” I yelled.

“I don’t give a crap if it’s midnight. Go hang out with your boyfriend, Seth, or find something else to do!”

“Sweet’s not my boyfriend!”

Copyright 2023 Wanda S. Paryla

GoodReads Giveaway Event – Happening Now!

Goodreads Book Giveaway

Someday Always Comes by Wanda S. Paryla

Someday Always Comes

by Wanda S. Paryla

Giveaway ends December 14, 2013.

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Book Review – This Love

Hi All! Just me, here with another book review.

 

FYI: I purchased this book, and this review was not requested by the author. Regardless, as always, this review is in depth.

 

THIS LOVE

By Nazarea Andrews

 

My Amazon rating: 3 of 5 stars for this tale of forbidden love.

As a reminder, my reviews are my views on a book and its characters. I try to avoid spoilers and will forewarn of them. I do not synopsis a book like many reviewers do, which to me is superfluous.

I’ll start at the cover…Fine and lovely work by Melissa Stevens, The Illustrated Author.

There was mention in another review(s) that Avery calling her father “Daddy” is immature. Personally, I realized that this story takes place in the South. I am from Texas. I have 45 year-old, highly educated, female friends still calling their fathers, Daddy. To clarify, it’s often a southern thing. I do understand that maybe the author could have recognized she was writing for a national, if not an international, audience and should have avoided that term. But where’s the originality in that? Where’s the reality of culture?

In books similar to this that I’ve read before, it’s always the woman who’s whining about the man not showing her love or saying I love you, or not wanting to stick it out, and how he doesn’t want to give up everything for her. Some reviewers must like this old redundant theme. For me, in this book, it was the other way around. It’s Avery who unselfishly didn’t want to see Atticus give up his life for her though the whole idea of losing him hurt her deeply. And she was afraid to mess up her own life too. Doesn’t that show consideration and ambition? I don’t see it as being weak or selfish, but being strong and level headed. I don’t know if this was the author’s intention or if the characters just wrote it that way, but it’s refreshing.

Atticus’ willingness to give up his life, move on to another job just to give this relationship a try is something we see very little of in reality or in books. I would call it uplifting; gallant, even. He’s not a shallow ass-chaser where Avery’s concerned. And unfortunately, we still see a lot of male chauvinistic behaviors in romance or erotic novels. Come on…Overdone. I like it better the Nazarea Andrews way.

The age difference between the two characters didn’t matter to me. I mean, this book is about a relationship that is taboo. In actuality, this is how it would be between a professor and a student who’s a senior in college. That’s where the illicit relationship comes in. Don’t we still believe that art imitates life? What I would’ve liked to have seen, however, was more near misses during the relationship. In truth, I would’ve enjoyed seeing them – a time or two – trying to hide from Atticus’ colleagues in a restaurant or her classmates at the mall in effort not to be caught. There are no cliff hangers, no hold-your breath-moments as far as action and intrigue. This story had the potential to be longer.

The characters seem to be developed enough for this first book in the series, but they could be more rounded. I think Atticus is definitely a hottie, but out of the appearing characters, Dane was my choice for most appealing. I’m always looking for a deviant underdog. By that I mean, I’m looking for someone to prove to me they are better a person than I first thought them to be. It’s early on in this series, but I’m looking to Dane for that role.

My hopes for future UB books: I wish the author will develop Avery’s character more if she is still to play a big role. Who is she, really? I can see the author’s not afraid to be original, so she should be more daring as well. This Love needed more tension – but not of the sexual kind, and a couple of “Oh, no. Run!” moments.

 

There are some details I did not like about the book and they are my personal reasons for not giving it 4 stars and have nothing to do with the story in general. While I absolutely love a First Person narrative, I did not like the “present tense” the book is written in. This is my opinion and has no bearing on the author or her work, but I think it caused a few of the lines of prose to be delivered awkwardly. I feel it limited the book as far as delivery and description. My brain had a hard time wrapping itself around the present tense narrative. That being said, I still must give kudos to the author for writing in this format. It is different.

Next, usually when we open to a chapter and there’s a heading such as “Chicago” or “April 2010”, we know that the following passage is about that subject. So when I opened to chapter one of This Love and read “Avery”, I assumed the passage was about Avery. I did not right off realize it was a cue to her speaking…or that the title meant that the passage was written from her point of view. So it took me a bit to realize that Avery was the one talking. In fact, it took me to the middle of next section titled “Atticus” for me to realize what was going on.

Also, while I have no problem with sex in a book, this one was a bit overboard. I’d like to see Atticus and Avery doing more than sex and drinking coffee. While sex can sell a book, it cannot sell a relationship to an audience.  The ending was a bit hurried. As I said earlier, I feel this book could have been longer. I’d love to see this author really let loose. I’d like to see more obstacles and tension. Maybe Nik should’ve set Atticus’ car on fire for revenge.

I enjoy young adult and new adult books, but usually go for action, fantasy, mystery, or paranormal so the romance side of those genres is new to me. Overall This Love is a good summer read, especially for young adults. Although there seems to be no plot (but a lot of books do not have one) its succession seems to be finely planned out, and This Love is well written. I did run across a few over looked editing issues but nothing that takes away from the story. This series has great potential.

I am also interested in the Scout character and was pleasantly surprised to read the Epilogue to find that the next book, Beautiful Broken, is about Dane and Scout. I’ll be reading that one as I’m sure Dane won’t disappoint me. *wink* I’m sure it’s a 4-star read!