Enjoy your Thanksgiving, friends.
Today, I’m not looking back. I’ve had a 50/50 year. Plenty of things to be thankful for, and some that upset or frightened me.
But there’s so much that I’m looking forward to in 2016 and even 2017. I feel blessed even just for the possibilities.
I’ve learned a few hard lessons this year. But what I’m giving thanks for today is that, during 2015, I’ve learned to look forward and not back. Living in the past does nothing for us.
And on the same note, living for others does nothing for us either. When every decision we make is centered on how the opposite choice — the choice we really want — might anger or hurt someone else, we’re living to please others. Or to keep the peace. It is not a smart thing to do. It kills our spirit; causes anxiety and depression.
I’ve shucked that off. I have decided that I will not carry responsibilities that are not rightfully mine.
I cannot continue to be where I don’t want to be. And even though I do not like the geographical area in which I currently live, I’m not just talking about a place. I’m talking about a space. Sacred space in the head and heart.
My gift to myself is to let go. That’s my plan anyway. My agenda for 2016 is to move back to Texas and pursue a midlife career change teaching. That, my friends, scares the heck out of me. As some of you can probably attest, changing careers anytime after about 43 is excruciating, especially since often you’re absolutely new to the field.
I had planned to self-publish something new in Fall 2016. However, with all this activity going on — my full-time job complete with nearly 3 hours of round trip travel per day, working overtime, completing a teacher certification course, making moving plans, now the holidays — that part if my agenda has been pushed back. I’m still writing, just not at a pace that will afford finishing any novel complete with a professional edit and cover by Fall 2016.
In my spare time, which is very limited now due to my teacher courses, I’m working on putting together a book of original poetry tentatively titled The Crime of a Life Sentence. The book is put together so that by publication, each chapter will represent a decade of my life to date. My hope was to definitely put that out October or November 2016. I’m still trying.
2017 holds a great deal of promise for self-publishing for me. If I don’t get my poetry book out in 2016, it’ll be ready for for 2017. Also in 2017, I’m expecting to FINALLY! publish The Devil Plays Dice — the sequel to Someday Always Comes, as well another project.
My moving back to Texas wasn’t planned over months. One day in August, something aweful happened. My heart was broken. My feelings hurt. My anger spiked so high it would later land me at the physician’s office. And I’d had enough. I said, screw it. And after a couple of weeks of pondering and researching, I made a choice — right or wrong.
The hardest thing for me to work past was the idea that one person or another will get angry, hurt, or be sensitive to my choice in some other way and lash out at me, which usually happens anyway. I’ve readied myself if the shit hits the fan, and I’m ready to hold fast when that wall of negativity comes at me. It’s okay. I’m attempting this prison break, folks, no matter what.
And while I’m looking forward, to my new path, I want to thank my past for teaching me how to work in the present while looking ahead, and to stop living my life based on how someone else might, or will, feel about my choices because of how the choices might affect their life.
Happy Thanksgiving! Happy positive changes for us all.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!… Introducing “Throwback Thursday” here on my blog! Throwback Thursdays are a way for me to share a little more of myself with my blog readers on a more personal level. I hope you’ll not be shy; join me and share any stories you may have on the subjects I post.
I thought today was as good a day as any to introduce Throwback Thursday. Why? Because I am thankful for the memories. I am thankful for all I got to see and experience in my lifetime thus far and I am so looking forward to more. So here goes!
Well, it’s no secret I was born in 1969. I graduated high school in 1987, and I have two older siblings. My sister, who is about 10 years older than I, and my brother who is 4+ years older. Their tastes in music, movies, trends, clothing and food preferences did influence me to some extent, I know, as did Chicago. I am very much a child of the 70s & 80s, that’s for sure. But I also spent many years away from the big city, and away from my siblings, growing up in rural Texas. I’ve found that my parents’ and my step-father’s tastes in various things also play a part of who I am today. When I post a throwback from my life, there’s sure to be a memory connected.
Please feel free to leave comments on my posts and share your own stories as well.
So on each Throwback Thursday, I’ll be posting some old favorite of mine, or something that totally belongs to my adolescent years. The blogs will come from music, TV, movies, fashion, fads, food, drinks, and so forth. Hence, forthcoming are my memories.
Let’s start with something that many people remember, or have seen somewhere before…maybe on cable TV or on the Internet, or maybe like me, you spent time watching this show. Let’s face it, they can film as many re-creations of it as they like, but there will never…ever…ever be another Crockett & Tubbs as they were played by Don Johnson & Philip Michael Thomas on the hit show, Miami Vice (1984-1990). They were a big part of my teen years and I loved Don Johnson more than life itself. Me and a friend of mine had Miami Vice parties where we drank Boone’s Farm Tickle Pink and ate junk food while watching the show. Miami Vice and its cast are forever in my heart. Thanks for memories.
Find out more about Miami Vice here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miami_Vice
Here’s wishing all my blog readers, fans, supporters, family and friends a wonderful Thanksgiving. Remember to thank the spirits of the food you consume on Thanksgiving – whether it be of animal or plant. Without them, we would not survive.
Let’s look back; take note. We should be thankful for not only the good things that have happened to us since last Thanksgiving, but also be reflective and mindful of the lessons left behind by the not-so-nice experiences we were met with.
We all have to endure things, circumstances, situations, that we do not like; that are hard on us and those we love. The only thing we can do is grin and bear it. The truth is, we all have a story and we should try to be more tolerant of one another. If you have a problem, someone else probably has one worse or more traumatic. As humans, it seems we’ve lost our empathy; our sympathy. We are fast becoming a cold nation, one of emotional deadbeats. But we have to rise above these urges to not care. We must! For the sake of our home, our planet and everything else upon it.
My Thanksgiving wish is for people to stop killing each other in the streets for no apparent reason. This is ridiculous behavior and does not make us “big men.” It’s simple to shoot down unarmed people for no reason. Let’s pray for the safety, health and well being of our young, and for humane treatment of animals. May we wake up soon and realize that we must work to protect our planet. We should not sit back and think “I don’t have to worry about global warming or “fracking” (fill in the blank with any earth-destroying topic), I’ll be dead before we see the sad outcome.” Really? That’s what I thought back in 1989. I’ve seen it already.
When I light my Thanksgiving candle, I will entreat to my gods, and the spirit of the Earth, for the children so they may hold steadfast against crack, meth, cocaine, and little pills with odd names…among other things. May they stand tall against bullies who hate themselves really, and not those they tease and pick on. I mean…my grandmother once said, “The way a woman keeps her house is how she keeps her soul.” What she meant is that how a woman tends to her physical home and her home life is reflective of her soul. This goes for bullies too. How they are treating another is a mirrored image of their damaged soul. We should contemplate peace so that all children will have no need to hate…and that what ever is being said or done to them to cause them to mistreat another child for a no good reason will be resolved.
Light a candle with me and impose your wishes on the universe. But, I hope those wishes be not for yourself, but for another. And if you do not pray to any god, then please keep pleasant thoughts about the world on this Thanksgiving day so that positive energy may encircle the globe.
Have a blessed & genuine Thanksgiving, my friends.