My Texas Nights

Posted on 10/26/2014 by Wanda Paryla | Leave a comment

And to my friends who still live in Texas. Don’t give it up. Never go away. You have no idea what you have. And if you absolutely must go, never let it go.

MY TEXAS NIGHTS

Sounds of cicadas buzz around me
The smell of fresh-cut hay does surround me
Home of a sizzling daytime sun and sticky, starry nights
Prairies glowing bright even in the dark of night

Night roses blooming
Horses grooming
Under the cloak of night
Illuminated by a silvery moon delight

Dewberries glistening
Pecan trees swaying
Growing all right
During the dead of night

Field mice wrestling
Salamanders listening
Waiting for the break of dawn
To run and burrow deep under the lawn

Gentleness against my skin
Draping herself around my shins
She touches my arm
Breezing by my cheek without alarm

She whispers in my ear
And, oh, how it tickles dear
A sweet breath of air
I never had need to despair

Rustling leaves sing as they shuffle
Promising my life will be free of bustle
Grazing under a moonlit front
Cattle low and grunt

Spider spinning her web
Pinning bugs dead
Night birds crooning tranquil tunes
Under the Texas moon

Inching worms and slithering snakes
All the hungry bunnies shake
Nibbling on tomatoes, eating lush
Let’s all hide with our bounty under prickly brush

Croaking frog
And barking dog
Tomcat mewing on nigh
Oh how we all love the sugary-smelling night

Staring up at the Milky Way
With my child eyes, I pray
Please, God, I never want it to go away
I want life to always be this way

Go away it never did as I prayed
It was me who didn’t stay
Restless youth bid go
God, if I had only known

Now-a-days, I recall it, dreaming
Summoning a child’s moon, beaming
On the fields of my youth
That are now all gone…Poof!

In my memory lives on
My Texas nights

Night Demon

Posted on 10/26/2014 by Wanda Paryla | Leave a comment

*Demon 1 by IgorKieryluk

NIGHT DEMON

I fear for my weak and wretched soul
As he haunts me through ominous night
Luring me to deadly sins so foul
Enticing me away from the light

Night Demon, I beg him, stay away
My thoughts are scary, murky; viscous
Fear of harsh judgment keeps them at bay
Demon! Don’t lead me to be inauspicious

He shrieks at me through the vast darkness
Of my puzzled, spinning, ailing mind
No drug can sedate the beast unless
There is a spell that can tie and bind

Demon calls to me, to come and kill
I cover my ears; don’t want to hear
As he cruelly tries to break my will
Scratching, biting, at my force he tears

Demon’s friends join in on the horror
Skipping like evil fairies all night
Through the most horrible night terror
I’ve ever had and I heave from fright

Insanity is knocking dreadfully loud
As my thoughts turn creepy; distorted
I see Demon, hiding in his shroud
Morals, slowly being aborted

My spirit cries to not engage them
Those suddenly hideous feelings
I pray to God to end the mayhem
My mind is weakened and reeling

No, Demon, I will not follow you
I will take control of my own fate
To God I will go; won’t live like you
I slit my own wrists, so come and hate

Hate me for what I’ve done to myself
But I will not kill someone for you
Demon, why do you laugh with such stealth?
You think you’ve won; that I’ve killed for you?
Hell’s gates are now wide open for me
That’s just fine as it is I who died
I won, really, as I’m murder free
I’d rather burn in hell for suicide

Than smolder in hell for murdering
Some unsuspecting stranger out there
So drag me down to hell for saving
Someone else from my sick night terror

Demon snorts and hoots and laughs at me
The steel gates of hell are blared open
But what’s that bright light that shines with glee?
It’s a bright beam from God’s fine heaven

Night Demon, you are not what you seem
God tested me and I passed that exam
He’s opened the gates of Heaven for me
Though suicide should be a failed exam

“That’s an old-school rule,” God said. “Now come.”
Through the vast gates of Heaven I walked
I was elated; I felt at home
Then I turned, saw the Demon still stalked

Then looked to find the kind face of God
He nodded and then they became one
Truth hit me like a lightening rod
Then I awoke in my bed alone.

Fate

Posted on 10/19/2014 by Wanda Paryla | Leave a comment

FATE

(This rambling is an entry from my personal journal from Thursday, 10/9/14.)

As you can see, I’ve missed some days of journal-ing. I am very disappointed. I wanted to fulfill my blog-a-day for October. I love October. Anyway, I’ve been sick. It’s nothing new. My colon, the son-of-a-bitch, is trying to kill me. It’s like it has a mind of its own.

Regardless, I know it will more than likely be my fate at the end of a long road.

So, mostly my idea is to only write in this journal on weekdays. Why? I don’t know. Maybe because I feel like it. I can do whatever I want. Why not? The rest of the world’s doing it.

Yep. People are doing whatever the fuck they feel like. I sure miss that Texas dirt road that I grew up on. I miss those chickens pecking around the yard, cows lowing, and the sound of crickets at night.

I miss singing with Blue Joe. I miss Tex and Lucky. I miss my quiet childhood. Sometimes I long for 1980 in our house on that beige and red sandy road.